Monsters’ Throwdown

A Human Odyssey

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Published by: How the Hell Did I End Up Here? Publications
Release Date: December 12, 2013
ISBN13: 978-1493616091

 
Overview

“Sometimes being underestimated is a great way to get away from the monsters that are hell-bent on destroying you.”

Not many books begin with words to the effect of “I was born in a toilet.”

The story is Eleanor Lois Tomczyk’s. Monsters’ Throwdown is universally appealing, crossing the boundaries of race, gender, and age. It‘s about survival under duress. It‘s about a petunia blossoming in an onion patch. Historical and social topics touched on are far-reaching, from women’s and civil rights, to the hippie culture and commune living.

Her story is one of triumph over adversity, and it’s filled with the many hilariously absurd situations that she finds herself in along the way. The tale could be heavy, if not for the brilliant humor, reflecting the author’s matchlessly positive take on life.

As Eleanor Lois Tomczyk tells the story of her life, her great sense of humor makes some of the most difficult times in her days growing up in the ghetto easier for anyone to fathom. This is not just a peek, but an all-embracing celebration of a life won by the self-belief and dedication of one woman who was feisty enough to toss the B.S. sandwich she was handed at birth in favor of something more worthy of her wit, intelligence, and dignity.

The author’s voice is authentic, engaging, and unstoppable. Eleanor Tomczyk’s history is shared so openly, readers will surely feel a familiarity and connection with the heroine—and they will most certainly feel a deep admiration for her. The pluck and stick-to-itiveness of a girl with so many things stacked against her is guaranteed to be inspiration for every reader lucky enough to pick up this book.

“I am discovering that when we look back over our lives after we’ve lived a good many years, sometimes we can see when the fairy dust first begins to be sprinkled on our destinies. It’s ever so slight, but if we stop and take notice, we’ll usually see a rainbow in the distance, too.”


Survival Tips

View Eleanor's Survival Tips


Praise

“This book is everything wrapped into one, shocking, sad, funny, and hilarious. I laughed out loud on several pages, page 31 made me ROTFLOL, by page 115 I had to put the book down. I remembered that this was the author's actual life, and I started sobbing. I sobbed even more when I counted how many friends I have that have encountered those same monsters. I couldn't wait to finish the book. I believe Eleanor is a hero and an inspiration to so many young girls/women who need to know that they can beat the monsters. I hope that there is a sequel!”
Kori DeSio, Amazon.com

“Not since The Autobiography of Malcolm X have I been so moved and inspired by the true story of a human being overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds to pull themselves out of poverty, ignorance, and abuse. The experiences described are often heart-wrenching, but the overall tone of the story of her life is actually light-hearted - a tribute to Eleanor Tomczyk's ability to always look for the good in people and situations while experiencing the pain of injustice to its depth.”
Dorothy Long, Amazon.com

“Eleanor is a true storyteller. She is engaging, riveting and truly amazing. She touched me emotionally many times with her journey. Thank you, Eleanor. Please write the sequel very soon. I can't wait!”
Pam Cradic, Amazon.com

“This book is amazing and inspiring. I read it in one sitting! Eleanor is a force of nature, and a woman to be truly admired. If you read nothing else in this wonderful memoir, you absolutely must read Chapter 8, where Eleanor first enters the library. Absolute poetry. I think that every child who is facing adversity in life should read this book at some point. Really brilliant writing.”
—Karen Schiebler, Amazon.com

“I love this book! It’s warm, witty, honest, and positive. The author’s voice is authentic, engaging, and unstoppable. The pluck and stick-to-itiveness of a girl with so many things stacked against her is guaranteed to be inspiration for every reader lucky enough to pick up this book. Monsters' Throwdown is a roller coaster of emotions; you will be sobbing for her and then laughing out loud!  Once you start reading you will not be able to put it down, until you find out what happens next. Bravo! It is perfect for book clubs!”
Sondra Smith, Amazon.com

“This book is a must read. From the first page, to the last, you are caught up in the author’s amazing life! She tells her story with such honesty and humor, that you feel yourself in the midst of the goings on. Such sorrow, yet such hope, all leading up to the love of her life, told with courage, boldness and yet, great humility. I was personally riveted from beginning to end, and if you have ever been in need of hope, encouragement, or just a good laugh, this book is for you.”
—Maxine Wilkins, Amazon.com

“Eleanor Tomczyk has written a book that brings wry humor to the darkest corners of human behavior. Allowing us a glimpse into a world most of us have never experienced, then forgiving us our laughter as she knocks the blinders from our eyes. I was knocked to my knees more than once, wanting to shake the adults in her life, sometimes even wanting to do more; my tears flowed without my realizing it then suddenly I would find myself laughing along with her.

Monsters' indeed. Thankfully Ms. Tomczyk has slain her monsters and at the same time exposed them for what they are. I am forever a fan. This is a must read for anyone interested in what the world was like for children without defenders, without caretakers and before the days of desegregation across the US, not just the South. What an amazing story, what an amazing life, what an amazing victory.”
Valentine "Val," Rowlett, TX, Amazon.com


Backstory

The author has always known that she wanted to be a writer. She also knew that she had lived a story that deserved to be shared. In 2011, Eleanor Tomczyk started a humorous blog to test the waters, and delightfully discovered that there was a wonderful audience who graciously gravitated toward her work. After retiring from a Fortune 500 company in 2012, Eleanor Tomczyk set about making her dream come true as a writer. After many, many drafts and edits, Monsters’ Throwdown was born and published in December 2013.

"Tragedies and heartaches at first blush can look alike, but they are quite different.  Tragedies travel at such a pace that you can hardly catch your breath before the next one follows on the heels of the first, and they all seem bent on flattening your life into road kill.  On the other hand, heartaches tend to pack enough power to rip your heart out and serve it back to you as pâté on day-old bread."


Discussion Questions

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Eleanorisms

  1. There are some New Year’s resolutions we need to let go of—things that are not worth our energy—like trying to be mistaken for Halle Berry in the make-up aisle of Target when one is 65 years old and has the figure of Whoopi Goldberg.
  2. On being a worry wart:  No matter how organized a day, how strategically planned a goal, or how focused a vision—shit happens.  Did you read about the guy in Tampa who was in his bed sleeping when a 100 ft wide and 50 ft deep sinkhole opened up and swallowed him whole? Just what did he do to piss off God?  Consequently, I’ve been poking holes in and around my house ever since—checking for depressions in the soil to find any clues of a potential center of the Earth slip-n-slide to China!  It doesn’t matter that I don’t live anywhere near Tampa—one can never be too careful when it comes to being obliterated.
  3. Life is a hop, skip, and a jump into eternity: one day you’re nineteen looking like “all that and a bag of chips,” and the next thing you know is that you’re in your sixties trying to figure out who let the air out of your lady lumps.
  4. I am discovering that money will come and it will go, things will always happen that we can’t control, and people will mess with our minds until our heads explode.  But joy is what is eternal.   It is attitudinal and no one—absolutely no one—can take that away from you.
  5. The Devil is not at all like everybody thinks he is.  First of all, his name is Murphy (as in Murphy’s Law) and he hates me.  I can’t categorically prove this, but I think he’s trying to set me up.  I think he hates you too.
  6. On wearing flesh colored tights with a short top (in public) on a windy day:  All of us (kings, queens, rich, poor, celebrities, and everyday peeps) are one exposed-ass event from disaster because we humans tend to believe our own press—“Girl, I am lookin’ good: I’ve got one fine-lookin’ ass even if I am 95 years old and 200 pounds!”
  7. Sometimes being underestimated is a great way to get away from the monsters that are hell-bent on destroying you.
  8. I can’t save anyone:  that has been the hardest lesson to learn about being a parent and a slayer of monsters.  Each person is responsible for the throw down of their own monsters.
  9. I personally don’t believe in love at first sight—that’s called lust.  But I do believe that when in the midst of the worst temptation, hardship, or disappointment a couple says, “I choose you (over everything and everyone else), no matter what the cost – I CHOOSE YOU!” Then love rules – love wins!
  10. A person can have all kinds of ideas about how they think children should be reared, but until you are actually a parent, none of it is worth the paper it is written on because kids have a trump card called “free will.”  When it comes to rearing kids, free will is a bitch!
  11. I wish I had had an “onboarding” course or interview before I made my debut on Earth.   It may not have made my journey any easier knowing what to expect, but at least I wouldn’t have travelled through most of my life looking for a monster under every bed and in every closet.
  12. You know you deserve the WTF Award in life when: . . .you insist on buying sushi from the Mexican teenager at the second-rate grocery store on the corner (“because I love it so much!”) on a hot summer’s night, and you get parasites that take you eight months to get rid of.
  13. You know you deserve the WTF Award in life when: . . . you refuse to read directions about anything (be it “how to drive” to “how to work your new iPhone”) because your arrogant attitude about life is: “How hard can this shit be?”
  14. The poor choices you make in your teens can derail your life into your twenties, and the poor choices you make in your twenties can kick your ass until your forties, and Lord have mercy on the poor choices made in your forties, because they may just end your life.
  15. The ability to choose is the impetus of our greatest ambitions and our worst holocausts.
  16. I am discovering that there are human beacons in the past and present that illuminate our encumbered pathways to the fulfillment of our dreams.  They show us by example how to “get over.”  We just need to stop, listen, learn, and never, ever, ever, ever give up!
  17. I am discovering that our lives are a compilation of stories that sometimes we have little or no control over.  But we do have choices.  We can choose to hang tough with and for each other until we’re rescued from getting trapped in a fire swamp, or we can give up and die, and let someone else write our story.
  18. I am never, ever going to join the world of “The Twitter.”  My mouth is too volatile.  Just in trying to explain to a group of twenty-something friends of my daughter at a party why I wouldn’t engage with the little blue bird, I said:  “I don’t tweet, I don’t twit, and I don’t “twat.’”  No one has ever asked me to tweet anything again, and my daughter just now started showing her face in public.
  19. I am discovering that the core of a hero’s heart is love, and the single-most deterrent to becoming a hero is self-centeredness.
  20. I am discovering that “group think” is a bitch.  Merriam-Webster says group think is “The practice of thinking or making decisions as a group in a way that discourages creativity or individual responsibility.”  Word!

Excerpt